BODY IMAGE GUIDE - How to create positive body image and be more confident.
In this post we explore how our of body image and self-worth are shaped by the stories we consume. From historical erasure of women’s achievements to modern-day social media narratives, we discuss how storytelling impacts how women see themselves and their bodies. By understanding who controls these stories and recognizing the recurring messages that promote uniform beauty standards, we can better understand how to empower ourselves and curate the stories we consume so they are empowering, diverse, and positive. This shift, is essential to achieving a positive body image and grow your confidence!
It’s not so much about learning how to love your body, but about unlearning how to hate it.
Storytelling shapes our knowledge
Storytelling is the most powerful tool humans can wield. The person who shares a story has the power to decide what to share, where to put importance, and what parts to omit. It’s one of the reasons you see social media platforms limiting access to certain information through deleting posts or shadow banning - the people in power make sure that they are in charge of the story. The way we talk about events can shape how we understand them and what we believe to be true.
The people in power shape the stories you are told
Throughout history, you can see the power of storytelling. The people winning the war held the power to shape the narrative of what happened; they painted themselves as the heroes. They decide on the content of history books and what students learn. This is one reason why many Swiss people are unaware of how Switzerland profited from colonization or what its role was during World War II. In the United States, numerous statues, parks, and schools honor the Confederacy, which fought to preserve slavery. Despite losing the Civil War, those in power shaped how these war leaders are perceived. By maintaining these statues, they preserve their glamor and honor, even though their cause was inhumane.
How history shaped the perception of women
It is rather shocking how many important inventions were, in fact, based on a woman’s work. You wouldn’t know it, though, because you were never told. Men who held the power would simply exclude women in publications or refuse to name them as nominees for the Nobel Prize they were nominating themselves for. Some examples:
Double helix: Watson and Crick were credited with the discovery of the double helix even though their work was based on Rosalind Franklin’s “Photo 51” that clearly showed the double helix structure. They teamed up, nominated themselves for the Nobel Prize, and won. Watson even went on to describe her as a difficult woman who was emotional, had uppity ideas about her role in the team and attacked her looks.
Nuclear fission: Lise Meitner was the acting director of the Institute for Chemistry. She eventually had to flee but kept in touch with chemist Otto Hahn. Letters between the two of them show that they discovered nuclear fission together in the 1930s. Meitner was denied proper credit, and Hahn won the Nobel Prize for this work but refused to give Meitner credit.
Stories become the proof that women aren’t capable, but men are!
The way we talk about women and portray them in any type of media gives us information as to how women are seen and what we think they are capable of. Women achieved the most brilliant things in STEM throughout all of history, but because of their erasure, we don’t see ourselves as engineers, inventors or Nobel Prize winners. The storytelling discourages women from pursuing a career in STEM by telling them it’s never been done!
Just imagine if you had seen more pictures of women in science and less pics of thin women half naked?
How newspaper reports shape the perception of women
You might think, "Okay, those examples are about historical women. It must be better now." Sadly, women’s achievements are regularly erased, diminished, or mocked in today's media. Here are two modern everyday examples.
In the first picture, you see Corey Cogdell winning a bronze medal in women’s trap shooting. By erasing her name and tying her achievement to her husband, who is an NFL player, you are told what is important: she is the wife of a famous man. She, however, isn’t recognized as successful in her own right. You have no other way of referring to her as “the wife of” because you were never told her name. This is story-making with real-life impact.
In the second picture, you see Amy Appelhans Gubser. She was the first to swim from the Golden Gate Bridge to the Farallon Islands. It took her 17 hours; she was stung by jellyfish 20 times, and the water was 6 degrees Celsius/43 Fahrenheit. That is an incredible physical achievement. How is she referred to? As a 55-year-old, 200-pound grandmother. No mention of her name. Where is the storytelling putting your focus? On her being fat and old (at 55?). How will you tell this story to a friend? You don’t know her name! You might wonder, isn’t this especially impressive because she is old? Maybe, if she were actually old, yes, but you are made to think she is old and fat by adding that she is a grandmother and her weight. This reporting reinforces ageism and fatphobia. How is a woman old at 55 and how is 200 pounds fat (90kg)? And even if she was, that doesn’t relate to her achievement. Just imagine how you would feel about her if the report read: "Amy Appelhans Gubser, a passionate swimmer with immense endurance and determination, is the first human to swim from the Golden Gate Bridge to the Farallon Islands." She deserved better. We deserve better!
How Social media platforms shape the perception of women
Platforms like Instagram and TikTok tell you a story every time you use them. On these platforms, you'll be shown what's considered important for women and what a happy life looks like for her.
Social media tells you how to be a woman
You'll be told that to live a fulfilled and happy life, you need to look a certain way and have specific products. It is part of capitalism to keep the goalposts moving so you buy new stuff.
Each time you open these apps, you're exposed to a narrative about what is currently considered aesthetically pleasing and important for women. This ranges from things that are easily changed, like nail shape, hairstyles, and clothes, to things that can only be changed through surgery or not at all, like lip shape, skin tone, breast size, hip width, and height.
During my twenties, I really solidified my bad body image and diet culture by being on Instagram and YouTube. I’m a millennial, so admittedly it was mostly YouTube. I watched hours and hours of: What I Eat in a Day, product empties, workout routines, morning and evening routines, clean eating, and productivity resets, and so on. I then started following these content creators and influencers on Instagram, where I was pushed similar accounts to follow—which I did. I spent so much money on looking a certain way, eating “clean,” and so much energy on thoughts about food and exercise.
Media tells you how you should spend your time, what you should be able to afford, and what a successful career, family, or motherhood looks like. It's all there in your feed. If you don't curate your content, the algorithm will choose for you. Its sole aim is to hold your attention for as long as possible to sell you products. Meta makes money from advertising—it’s a sales platform, not a social platform. Unless you curate it with intention!
Disclaimer: Even if you curate it, you will see ads and suggested posts that are trying to sell you a story that doesn’t serve you. The great thing is, though, that with more awareness, you now understand what story you are being told and if it’s something worth your time and attention.
Social media for a healthy body image
Here are some examples of things that pop up on my curated feed that make me feel good. As you can see, I see women doing all sorts of things and messaging that reinforces the story that my body is just fine and I have bigger things to do. I love seeing women in sports, inclusive fashion, and conversations that make me rethink gender identities. And I love content about women in business and women running their own companies. It just fires me up to be creative!
Curating Your Feed: Choosing Stories That Empower, Not Diminish
So take a good hard look at your feed and ask yourself: With what type of stories do I want to surround myself? What type of content will inspire me and broaden my horizons? What do I want to learn?
The story that losing weight will lead to happiness? That being feminine looks a certain way? Use social media as a platform to learn from people who are different from you. Follow women who teach you something, discuss things you don’t know much about, and people with the same values so you can take inspiration from how they do things and learn about politics, social issues, art, business, parenting, cooking, sports—the opportunities are endless, and there is so much good content out there. Take back control!
Keep in mind that all media tells you a story, whether that’s books, scientific research papers, movies, posters, ads, TikTok, or YouTube videos. Every medium tells a story. I will use Instagram, though, as an example of how to curate the stories you surround yourself with. Let’s go!
Step-by-Step Guide for better body image and self-condifence:
1. Understand what stories you are consuming
Get a feeling of what Instagram thinks you like and check your explore page. If it is full of before-and-after pictures, products to buy, or things that make you long for a different body, then you are engaging with stories that don’t make you happy. You will have some work ahead of you.
2. Unfollowing for Your Well-Being: What to Look Out For
Every time you start comparing your body to the body of someone you follow, try to understand what story you are seeing (even if the account might not be about body image or weight loss). Consider muting or unfollowing.
Any accounts that make you feel bad about your body or make you feel you should exercise more and be less “lazy”—consider unfollowing.
Any accounts that make you feel you should watch your diet, eat less, or manipulate your calorie intake in any way—consider unfollowing.
Any accounts that make you feel you need to buy certain things for lots of money—consider unfollowing.
Any accounts that make you feel you should do surgery, fillers, or use makeup to change your natural proportions—consider unfollowing.
Any accounts that only post posed pictures in perfect light of thin people—consider unfollowing.
And lastly, consider unfollowing anything that doesn’t inspire you to CREATE! I want you to create and not consume passively or buy stuff.
3. Add in the stories that boost your confidence and promote positive body image
I encourage you to seek out accounts that dismantle beauty standards and challenge the ideals around how women should be. Follow those that showcase diverse bodies: fat, thin, Black, Asian, disabled, trans. The more you see people who don’t fit the “Caucasian, white, and able-bodied” mold, the easier it will be for you to rewrite your own story. Many of my clients say, "I know in theory that beauty standards are made up, but my heart still doesn’t believe that my body is good as it is." Exposure is crucial for our hearts to believe a new narrative. By taking the first step in your body image journey, you will become more aware of how often the story of “thin equals happy” is told.
Remember, it takes time and numerous new stories to convince yourself that your body is good—not because it’s beautiful, but because it is an instrument to live a full, happy life.
“Your body is an instrument, not an ornament!”
In my upcoming posts, I will go deeper into how to change your thoughts around body image and food. If you’re interested in continuing this journey with me, sign up for my newsletter to receive new posts and helpful content about mental health and body positivity.
I would love to hear how this post has impacted your awareness of the stories that surround you. Please share your progress if you’d like and let me know about the new, inspiring stories you discover.
For inspiration on who to follow, join me on Instagram. I repost content that I love and deeply care about. Let’s build a community of support and empowerment together.