What is feminism? An introduction for beginners.
I am not a feminist. I don’t hate men.
Growing up it was very difficult for me to call myself a feminist. I didn’t hate men and I didn’t yet understand when older women shared their experiences of inequality. I remember so well how I thought they were being a bit difficult while at the same time slowly experiencing things that I though were unfair.
My experience and journey to feminism seems to be quite common. Many women and men I talk to have similar trouble identify themselves as feminists. So what is feminism? And why should men be feminists too?
Hating men is not feminism.
Feminism is a social and political movement with the goal to achieve gender equality and the deconstruction of patriarchy. Patriarchy is a deeply entrenched societal structure that privileges men over women, creating a hierarchy based on gender that assigns specific roles to each gender. This system has historically been used to suppress and marginalize women, limiting their rights and opportunities.
Stereotypes are not fair to either gender.
Women are: emotional, nurturing, loving, soft, less smart, irrational, weak, indecisive, unable to lead etc…
Men are: strong, powerful, intelligent, dominant, natural leaders, rational, pragmatic etc.
Patriarchy causes men to experience vulnerability and emotions as weak and shameful. The worst insult for a man is to call him a girl. Those stereotypes make it incredibly difficult for men to be human beings with a wide range of emotions and need of companionship. Men are incredibly lonely, the suicide rates among men are worryingly high! Men and boys want to do “girlie” aka. human things too but they hold back. They are scared of seeming feminine. Because being feminine goes hand in hand with the loss of male privilege, power, opportunities... all the privileges patriarchy grants them at the very high price of their wholeness.
If you want to read up on how shitty patriarchy if for men check out the book below.
Patriarchy is a system that confines us all to a box that does not represent our full potential. It limits and harms both men and women. The best thing you can do for men, whether you have a son, boyfriend, partner, or brother, is to be a feminist. This allows men to be complete individuals instead of pretending to be strong, unemotional, and dominant.
Podcast:
iWeigh by Jameela Jamil with Jackson Katz - Dismantling Gender Violence
Books:
For the love of men by Liz Plank
What about men? by Caitlin Moran
Jackson Katz The Macho Paradox
I had more suggestions but sadly it turned out that one of the loudest male feminist allies is not really holding up so I won’t recommend his books anymore.