How to Find the Right Therapist: A Step-by-Step Guide
Looking for the right therapist? This guide covers how to find a therapist, what to ask, and how to choose the best mental health support for your needs. Need help finding the right therapist? Let’s talk!
You know how I found my first therapist? I used an old, clunky phone book. Scanning the list of therapists I looked for a woman and simply decided based on which name sounded the nicest to me. That was all I had to go on. Luckily you have the internet at your disposal, although finding the right therapist can still feel daunting with so many therapy options to choose from. So, how do you know who is right for you?
Let me walk you through the steps to find the best therapist for you.
Step 1: Identify Your Needs
There are several things to consider here. What specializations does your therapist need? Do you prefer to talk to a man, a woman, or someone gender-nonbinary? Are you looking for someone with specific values or allyships? Let’s take a closer look at each of them and why they might matter to you.
What brings you to therapy?
Before you start searching for a therapist, take a moment and write down why you’re seeking therapy. This will help you decide what spezializations your therapist should have.
If you are unsure whether you need therapy read my post “Do I Need Therapy?”.
Are you struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, or was there a major life transition? Do you need support with self-esteem, relationships, or stress? Maybe you have a diagnosis in mind because you researched it? Start a list. This will be super helpful for your first appointment too!
Now, while some clients know exactly why they want therapy, for others it’s a bit more unclear. You might just feel like you're not yourself or that you feel “off.” That is okay. Write down what you know. You don’t have to self-diagnose before booking a session. What you write down could look something like:
“I keep feeling overwhelmed, and I know I am not acting the way I want to. My marriage isn’t where I want it to be; we fight a lot. Since giving birth, I can’t rest or sleep well, and although I love being a mom, I keep having memories of my own childhood coming up.”
or
“Work is massively stressful. I can’t stop thinking about work even on the weekends. I am scared of failing and double-checking everything I do. At home, at the dinner table, no one wants to talk to each other because the atmosphere is so high-strung. I want to quit, but where would I even go? I keep stress-eating from it all and hate what my life looks like now.”
Identifying your main concerns can help you decide what areas of expertise your future therapist should have. Being clear about what you need will make it easier to narrow down your options.
Please note that if you are looking for a therapist in Switzerland, the areas of expertise are often very broad. Every therapist seems to be a specialist in everything. This is, on one hand, due to the wide range of knowledge that we are taught but also because niching is not really a thing here. So if you want someone who specializes in discussing women’s mental health, motherhood, or trauma, check their specialties, but also ask them directly about their experience in the respective field during your first chat.
Male, Female or non-binary therapist
Take a moment to think about who you would feel most comfortable talking to. This depends on your history and the issues you’d like to discuss with your therapist. Sometimes, clients feel embarrassed when they realize that the gender of their therapist is a barrier to opening up. Don’t worry, it’s pretty normal to have a preference, and it’s important to take yourself seriously.
Values and Allyships
This can be important because, no matter how much a therapist will try to be “objective,” their own belief system will always influence how they work. Most therapists recognize this and will be open about their own values, beliefs, and allyships. Read their website, bio, or social media to get a sense of who they are and see whether it resonates with you. Some examples:
LGBTQ+ allied
weight neutral
of a specific faith or atheist
of a specific race or ethnic background (it’s hard to find depending on the area)
has children of their own
has similar values to your own - e.g., is a feminist, is vegan, is pro-abortion
This will not matter to each person equally and will depend heavily on why you are looking for therapy. If it does matter to you, then you will probably have to ask since it’s not that common for Swiss therapists to have much information on their website - most therapists don’t even have one!
Step 2: Which Therapy Approach Is The Right One For Me?
Many people feel especially overwhelmed with finding the “right” therapy approach. Here, I will share three things I want you to know on this topic. In summary, I will discuss why what truly matters is finding someone you feel comfortable with. So why does it not matter?
Research consistently shows that it’s not the method that makes the biggest difference - it’s the relationship. Studies show that the quality of the therapeutic alliance - feeling understood, supported, and able to trust your therapist - accounts for 30% of the improvement in clients (Wampold & Imel, 2015).
While therapy modalities like Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy, psychodynamic therapy, polyvagal therapy, or somatic therapy each have different frameworks, the reality is that many therapists integrate elements from multiple approaches to tailor treatment to the client’s unique needs. And also, a lot of the newer approaches are a repackaged, or a mashup version of a therapy approach that has been around for decades. I, like many of my colleagues, work integrative - which means I pull methods from all types of approaches to best accommodate my clients. Most therapy models share core principles, such as helping clients identify patterns, process emotions, and develop healthier coping strategies.
The way a therapist works can differ greatly from how another therapist within the exact same therapy approach would go about supporting you. So within any given approach, there is huge variability in how therapists work. It’s a bit like Pop Music. There is a huge difference between Taylor Swift and Celine Dion, but both are Pop artists.
I hope this clarifies why the therapeutic approach is not the best indicator of whether a therapist is a good fit for you. Their areas of expertise, a solid relationship, and a dynamic, personalized approach - one that considers your history, personality, and preferences - are far more important.
Step 3: Is Online or In-Person Therapy Better for me?
Both online and in-person therapy have their benefits, and the right choice depends on your lifestyle and preferences:
The benefits of Online Therapy: More flexible, convenient, and accessible.
Flexible: You have a busy schedule, can’t invest 2 hours to attend in-person sessions, or are traveling a lot and living abroad.
Accessible: You live in a remote area and prefer to have more options.
Convenient: You prefer the comfort of your own space for sessions.
Effectiveness: Various studies show that online talk therapy is as effective as in-person talk therapy.
The benefits of In-Person Therapy:
There really aren’t too many differences between online and in-person therapy. Some people find face-to-face interaction more personal and engaging.
Body-Centered Therapy Exercises: Certain therapy types (like body- and movement-based approaches) work better in person because you need to be able to physically do things together.
Time away from the screen: If the therapy practice is conveniently located, then escaping the computer for a while can be really nice.
There’s no right or wrong choice - just what works best for you.
At the moment I love offering online therapy since I get to work with clients all around the globe who. These clients often have very busy schedules and wouldn’t be able to fit in therapy between career and kids.
Are you are interested in working with me? Book a free Intro Call to discuss how we can work together. I am looking forward to talking to you!
Step 4: Check for Organizational Fit
Once you have an idea of what you’re looking for, research therapists who match your criteria. Consider the following factors in addition:
Credentials & Experience
Each country has different standards and titles for therapists, which can be confusing. In Switzerland, you’d want to look for a Psychotherapist - this title is protected, unlike Coach, Counsellor, and others. This ensures, at least on paper, that you are dealing with someone who has to follow certain laws on ethical practice and has the proper training. This information is also important if you are looking to get coverage from your insurance.
Payment
Decide if you want to pay out of pocket or go through your insurance. In my case, the supplementary insurance will cover part of the cost - the amount depends on your contract. Still, some of my clients would rather avoid involving their insurance for privacy reasons.
How much does Therapy cost?
Therapy sessions in Switzerland will cost between 180 to 250 CHF. If you are in a financially difficult situation, it’s also worth checking if sliding-scale pricing is available.
Scheduling
Think about what days you could have your appointments and see if your therapist of choice works on those days. Most therapists work regular office hours, so the early evening, early morning, and lunchtime are often booked. You can ask if there is a waitlist for specific slots.
Step 5: Questions to Ask Your Therapist Before Committing
Make a list of questions you want to ask your therapist. Pay attention to how the therapist responds to your questions and worries and how they make you feel at ease.
When to Ask: You can ask when you first reach out, during an intro call (if they offer one), or during your first session. You probably want to check for knockout criteria before booking a paid session.
Here are some important questions to ask:
How do you work, and what is your approach?
How the therapist answers should give you an idea of how they will work with you. Ask follow-up questions like: “What would that look like in practice?” if you aren’t satisfied with the answer yet. The way they answer will help you get a feel for them.
Have you worked with clients with similar concerns to mine?
Always ask about their expertise - a good therapist will happily answer you and admit if they don’t have much experience in a specific field. It’s an opportunity to see how they respond.What should I expect from our sessions?
A short outline of how they structure the sessions would be an expected answer. Again, it’s a great open-ended question to get to know your therapist and also put your mind at ease if you worry about starting therapy.What are your values, beliefs, and allyships?
This is a personal and probably more uncommon question for Swiss therapists, so you might have to explain what you mean to get a satisfying answer. Don’t let them tell you that it doesn’t matter because they are neutral or that it is about you - not them. If it matters to you, then it matters. You can absolutely work with a therapist who has different opinions than you - it’s great to learn from each other. But, for example, if you are struggling with the question of whether you want have children and your therapist thinks all childless women regret not having children, then that is a bad match.What are your fees, availability, and do you work with insurance?
Ask how the billing and payment work. Ask about sliding-scale rates if you need them. From experience, I know that the people who most need reduced fees will not ask - so be brave if you are struggling financially.If they aren’t available at a convenient time for you, ask if there is a waitlist for specific time slots. Ask about their job title or the process for reimbursement if you want to go through insurance.
Therapists understand that you need to feel safe and supported, so they welcome these conversations - I certainly do.
Step 6: Trust Your Instincts - How do I know I found the right therapist?
After the fist meeting it is time to tune into yourself and see how you feel about the interactions with the therapist. The key to finding the best therapist for you is to find someone who makes you feel comfortable, heard, and understood. Here are some questions to evaluate how it’s been going.
Questions to Ask After the First Meeting
After the first meeting, you should ask yourself the following questions and trust your instincts:
Did you feel comfortable?
Was the therapist respectful?
Did you feel heard and understood?
Do you feel like you might be able to build a relationship with them and trust them?
If the answer is yes, then go ahead and book another session. Sometimes it takes more than one meeting to see if it is a good fit. Especially if you were nervous.
What If I Don’t Like My Therapist?
First off, you don’t have to commit to the first therapist you meet. In fact, it’s completely okay to shop around. Meet two or three therapists to get a better sense of who would be the right fit for you.
If you are unsure about changing therapists, please tell your therapist about your concerns. Why? Maybe they can adjust how they work with you or recommend someone who would be a better fit. A good therapist will take your concerns seriously and will want to help you. Therapy is a collaborative effort, and the more engaged and honest you are, the more you will get out of it.
How Do I Break Up With My Therapist?
Breaking up with your therapist is quite simple. There are several options, but considering that in this scenario you probably wonder about what to do after having had very little appointments, I would say you have two options.
A: You would like to give them feedback and/or ask if they can refer you.
Then an additional session or an email is a good idea to discuss how you want to proceed and to tell them why it’s not working for you. Being honest can help your therapist understand who might be a better fit, and they can use the feedback as a learning opportunity.
B: You want to switch therapists and don’t want to tell them why.
In this case, a simple email letting them know that you’re not coming anymore is a good idea. Even us therapists don’t like to be ghosted, plus if you have booked a follow-up session, you will be asked to pay if you miss it. Remember that you don’t have to justify why you don’t want to continue - no is a full sentence.
How to Get Started - Where Can I Find a Therapist?
Finding the right therapist might take some time, but it’s worth the effort. Therapy is an investment in your well-being, and you deserve a therapist who supports you in a way that feels right.
Here some ideas on where to find a therapist:
Ask around in your friend and work circle - Some of the people you know might have worked with a therapist they can recommend. Don’t worry about them knowing your friend or colleague; depending on what you discuss, there won’t be any likely crossover. Plus, anything you discuss with a therapist is confidential.
Use Google to find a therapist - A good option to get independent, specialized therapists who might not show up in directories or big networks. There are some really amazing therapists out there if you scroll past all the ads.
Use a directory - Here are two directories for therapists I like:
PsyFinder all swiss based therapists
Psychology Today global and local search possible
Side note: I’m not a big fan of the therapy platforms that are currently heavily advertised on social media. Many of them hire hundreds of therapists, pay them really poorly, and create high-pressure work environments that - especially for new therapists - will lead to burnout. If possible, I’d recommend looking for independent therapists instead.
You don’t have to figure everything out on your own. The right support is out there, and you deserve it.
If you’re looking for the right therapist, book a free intro session to explore if I’m the right fit for you.
Hi, I am Franziska Hunkemöller
I am a mom of two toddlers, a business owner and a licensed psychotherapist working with clients in English and German. I offer online-therapy and workshops to clients all over the world and work with many Expats. My biggest strength is my ability to recognise patterns and understand how things are inter-connected on a bigger scale. As a therapist this allows me to empower you on a deeper, structural level so that the change you experience will be lasting and transferable to all areas of your life.
Currently I am work-traveling with my Malaysian husband and our two amazing children. I’m excited to meet you!